March 6, 2025: "The Killer," Digging Out, "A Selective History of Oreos"

My little piece of the Upper Peninsula of Michigan spent the day digging out from yesterday's blizzard.  The drifts were three feet deep, and the snow glowed blue with moisture.  All the area schools were shut down again today, and the library where I work opened at noon instead of 9:30 a.m.

When I was a kid, I used to love snowstorms and blizzards.   Bad winter weather meant a day off from everything—school, homework, gym class, tests, you name it.  Now, as an adult, it means shoveling, treacherous driving, more shoveling, and postponing/canceling plans.  Did I mention shoveling?  The magic of a snow day doesn’t exist once you get out of high school

Sharon Olds’ son plays with guns . . . 

The Killer

by: Sharon Olds

Whenever there's a lull in the action, my son

sights along his invisible sights and

picks things off.  He eyes a pillar

three rows over, pivots and easily

fires--a hit, you can tell by the flames and

smoke reflected in his glittering eyes.

Everything becomes a target--

cops topple, a whole populace

falls as he aims, yet I know this boy,

kind and tender.  He whirls and lets them

have it.  Tangents straighter than the arc of his

pee connect him to all he sees

like a way to touch:  as the spider travels its

silver wires, our son goes out along his

line of fire, marking each thing

with the sign of his small ecstatic life.

Yes, kids know how to make tedious situations fun.  All it takes is a thumb, a forefinger, and a target. Suddenly, you’re Luke Skywalker picking off Stormtroopers or Flash Gordon battling Ming the Merciless.  (If you’re a millennial—Flash Gordon was your grandparents’ version of the Star Wars universe.)

However, tedium is pretty normal for adults.  I spent most of today answering emails and writing reports and planning events.  However, it was National Oreo Day.  So, at the library, we sampled several different kinds of Oreos and ranked them.  That’s the great thing about my job.  We’re all very serious about the work we do, but we also know it’s important to have a little fun.  Today’s fun was the world’s best sandwich cookie.  It allowed us to be kids again for a little while.

This evening, I led a poetry workshop at the library.  It was part of the NEA Big Read that I organized.  I was skeptical that anyone was going to show up for it.  I thought everyone would be too tired from digging out from the blizzard.  Instead, ten people showed up, and we sat and wrote for an hour and a half.  Whenever I can get paid to teach poetry and write poetry, it’s a good day.  Throw Oreos into the mix, and it’s damn near perfect.

Saint Marty wrote a poem in honor of Oreo Day, based on the following prompt from The Daily Poet:  

In 1912, Nabisco introduced Oreo cookies, and since then, they've become the bestselling cookie of all time.  Write a poem about your favorite cookie or about the Oreo.  Have your cookie appear where you don't imagine cookies--each a cookie while waterskiing or taking a bath, eat an Oreo at a black-tie event, or have a stranger offer you a cookie on the subway.  Feel free to use the names of more than one cookie or dessert, such as macaroon, shortbread, animal crackers, etc.  To provide inspiration, snack on cookies while you write.

A Selective History of Oreos

by: Martin Achatz

1.
If there had been Oreo
bushes in Eden, we’d all
be running around naked,
not caring about snakes or apples.

5.
Paleontologists discovered
a mammoth frozen
in Siberian tundra, its last
meal, eight Double Stuf Oreos,
still in its stomach, waiting
for a glass of milk to thaw them.

11.
King Tut’s tomb contained
several packages of Golden
Oreos, a gift for all the hungry
gods, except Anubis,
who preferred Red Velvet Oreos
the color of blood.

23.
They say Michelangelo only
ate Lemon Oreos while on
his back painting the Sistine
because they tasted like
the love of God.

41.
Pope Urban II started
the Crusades not to reclaim
the Holy Land, but to capture
the sacred stash of Rocky Road
Oreos guarded by Knights Templar
with the body of Mary Magdalene.

63.
After beheading Anne Boleyn,
Henry VIII feasted on
Oreo Heads or Tails cookies.

75.
Newton didn’t discover
gravity while sitting under
an apple tree. He was eating
Apple Pie Oreos after dinner,
dropped one on the floor
where his Great Dane
Copernicus gobbled it
down at the rate of 9.81
meters per second.

92.
Einstein preferred the cream
in a Space Dunk Oreo
to the cookies at twice
the rate sunlight takes
to reach Saturn’s rings,
thus relativity was born.

112.
Pope John Paul II’s face
once appeared on the top
cookie of an Easter Egg Oreo,
and the cream inside
made several goats start
singing Ave Maria.
The next day, John Paul
was made a saint.