May 19: Swarms of Locusts, My New Job, Grashopper State

In 1921 a Russian naturalist named Uvarov solved the mystery.  Locusts are grasshoppers:  they are the same animal.  Swarms of locusts are ordinary grasshoppers gone berserk.

That's right.  The hordes of locusts you read about in the Bible--the eighth plague that Moses calls down on the Egyptians--and the black clouds of insects that chew their way across huge swathes of land, those hordes are grasshoppers in migration mode.  They change under certain extreme conditions, such as drought.  Wings elongate and darken.  Bodies change to "hysterical" yellows and pinks.  It's an insectile Jekyll and Hyde show.

In a couple of weeks, I will be starting my new job.  Five weeks ago, when I accepted the position, I said a prayer of thanks.  I'm returning to a place I worked at for 17 years.  One of my best friends still works there.  I was really happy.

Now that my migration is approaching, I'm panicking a little.  There are things that I simply don't know how to do any more.  Registering patients.  Creating patient charts.  Accepting payments.  Posting said payments.  And scanning medical records.  While I remember some of the basics, I am terrified that I'm going to drown.  I'm approaching locust mode.

I know things are going to be fine.  I will learn/relearn my new/old job.  It is going to be stressful for a little while.  I may have to buy a few bottles of wine to see me through.  I may chew through a few acres of Hershey chocolate bars.  Eventually, though, in a month or so, I will begin to relax.  Feel at home.

Saint Marty will return to his grasshopper state.

No grasshoppers here . . .