Showing posts with label saints. Show all posts
Showing posts with label saints. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

July 17: Saints, Demigods,and Prophets, Sister's Birthday, Sister's Ghost

There are some enterprises in which a careful disorderliness is the true method.

The more I dive into this matter of whaling, and push my researches up to the very spring-head of it so much the more am I impressed with its great honorableness and antiquity; and especially when I find so many great demi-gods and heroes, prophets of all sorts, who one way or other have shed distinction upon it, I am transported with the reflection that I myself belong, though but subordinately, to so emblazoned a fraternity.

The gallant Perseus, a son of Jupiter, was the first whaleman; and to the eternal honor of our calling be it said, that the first whale attacked by our brotherhood was not killed with any sordid intent. Those were the knightly days of our profession, when we only bore arms to succor the distressed, and not to fill men's lamp-feeders. Every one knows the fine story of Perseus and Andromeda; how the lovely Andromeda, the daughter of a king, was tied to a rock on the sea-coast, and as Leviathan was in the very act of carrying her off, Perseus, the prince of whalemen, intrepidly advancing, harpooned the monster, and delivered and married the maid. It was an admirable artistic exploit, rarely achieved by the best harpooneers of the present day; inasmuch as this Leviathan was slain at the very first dart. And let no man doubt this Arkite story; for in the ancient Joppa, now Jaffa, on the Syrian coast, in one of the Pagan temples, there stood for many ages the vast skeleton of a whale, which the city's legends and all the inhabitants asserted to be the identical bones of the monster that Perseus slew. When the Romans took Joppa, the same skeleton was carried to Italy in triumph. What seems most singular and suggestively important in this story, is this: it was from Joppa that Jonah set sail.

Akin to the adventure of Perseus and Andromeda- indeed, by some supposed to be indirectly derived from it- is that famous story of St. George and the Dragon; which dragon I maintain to have been a whale; for in many old chronicles whales and dragons are strangely jumbled together, and often stand for each other. "Thou art as a lion of the waters, and as a dragon of the sea," said Ezekiel; hereby, plainly meaning a whale; in truth, some versions of the Bible use that word itself. Besides, it would much subtract from the glory of the exploit had St. George but encountered a crawling reptile of the land, instead of doing battle with the great monster of the deep. Any man may kill a snake, but only a Perseus, a St. George, a Coffin, have the heart in them to march boldly up to a whale.

Let not the modern paintings of this scene mislead us; for though the creature encountered by that valiant whaleman of old is vaguely represented of a griffin-like shape, and though the battle is depicted on land and the saint on horseback, yet considering the great ignorance of those times, when the true form of the whale was unknown to artists; and considering that as in Perseus' case, St. George's whale might have crawled up out of the sea on the beach; and considering that the animal ridden by St. George might have been only a large seal, or sea-horse; bearing all this in mind, it will not appear altogether incompatible with the sacred legend and the ancientest draughts of the scene, to hold this so-called dragon no other than the great Leviathan himself. In fact, placed before the strict and piercing truth, this whole story will fare like that fish, flesh, and fowl idol of the Philistines, Dagon by name; who being planted before the ark of Israel, his horse's head and both the palms of his hands fell off from him, and only the stump or fishy part of him remained. Thus, then, one of our own noble stamp, even a whaleman, is the tutelary guardian of England; and by good rights, we harpooneers of Nantucket should be enrolled in the most noble order of St. George. And therefore, let not the knights of that honorable company (none of whom, I venture to say, have ever had to do with a whale like their great patron), let them never eye a Nantucketer with disdain, since even in our woollen frocks and tarred trowers we are much better entitled to St. George's decoration than they.

Whether to admit Hercules among us or not, concerning this I long remained dubious: for though according to the Greek mythologies, that antique Crockett and Kit Carson- that brawny doer of rejoicing good deeds, was swallowed down and thrown up by a whale; still, whether that strictly makes a whaleman of him, that might be mooted. It nowhere appears that he ever actually harpooned his fish, unless, indeed, from the inside. Nevertheless, he may be deemed a sort of involuntary whaleman; at any rate the whale caught him, if he did not the whale. I claim him for one of our clan.
But, by the best contradictory authorities, this Grecian story of Hercules and the whale is considered to be derived from the still more ancient Hebrew story of Jonah and the whale; and vice versa; certainly they are very similar. If I claim the demigod then, why not the prophet?

Nor do heroes, saints, demigods, and prophets alone comprise the whole roll of our order. Our grand master is still to be named; for like royal kings of old times, we find the head-waters of our fraternity in nothing short of the great gods themselves. That wondrous oriental story is now to be rehearsed from the Shaster, which gives us the dread Vishnoo, one of the three persons in the godhead of the Hindoos; gives us this divine Vishnoo himself for our Lord;- Vishnoo, who, by the first of his ten earthly incarnations, has for ever set apart and sanctified the whale. When Brahma, or the God of Gods, saith the Shaster, resolved to recreate the world after one of its periodical dissolutions, he gave birth to Vishnoo, to preside over the work; but the Vedas, or mystical books, whose perusal would seem to have been indispensable to Vishnoo before beginning the creation, and which therefore must have contained something in the shape of practical hints to young architects, these Vedas were lying at the bottom of the waters; so Vishnoo became incarnate in a whale, and sounding down in him to the uttermost depths, rescued the sacred volumes. Was not this Vishnoo a whaleman, then? even as a man who rides a horse is called a horseman?

Perseus, St. George, Hercules, Jonah, and Vishnoo! there's a member-roll for you! What club but the whaleman's can head off like that?

Melville is making leaps here, including saints and prophets and demigods in the ranks of whalemen.  He is doing what all poets and writers do--drawing lines, making comparisons, providing a new way of looking at some aspect of the world/universe.  Thus, St. George's dragon was a whale.  Perseus uses Medusa's head to slay a whale.  Vishnu transforms into a whale to read mystical books at the bottom of the sea.  The whale becomes the beginning and the end.  Alpha and omega. 

Allow me this evening to make some leaps, as well.  Today would have been my sister's 57th birthday.  Now, I am greatly opposed to retrospective falsification.  That is the act of looking at the past with blinders on.  Seeing only the golden times and forgetting everything painful and negative.  I suppose some people would use the term "nostalgia," which sort of has the same meaning.

My sister was not a saint.  She could swear like a whaleman, and she frequently did.  She was a workaholic, which probably was a factor in her early death.  She refused to recognize that she was getting sick.  Kept working long days because she was afraid of losing her job, which she eventually did.  When she was lying in a hospital bed, suffering from undiagnosed lymphoma of the brain, she received her termination letter in the mail.

I honestly think that, if Sally were able to talk to me today, she would tell me that her greatest regret in life is the fact that she wasted so much of it at her desk in her office, worrying over insignificant problems.  She loved her family more than anything else.  Spent most of her adult life making other people happy.  At Christmas, she made sure that Santa was good to every person.  The presents spilled across the floor in a Himalayan heap.  Her generosity really was boundless.  I'm not kidding.  When I suffered financial setbacks with my family, Sally always bailed me out.

So, if you will allow me, I want to make a leap here.  This afternoon, I went to the cemetery to visit my sister.  It was sunny but cool.  Someone was mowing grass nearby.  When I got out of my car, I looked over at the trees along the far gates, behind my sister's cremation stone.  And, for an instant, I swear I saw her standing there, in her teal blue hoodie and Hawaiian shorts.

It was momentary, a swimming vision that was gone as soon as I blinked.  She was there, and then she wasn't.  I walked over to her grave marker, stood looking down.  Someone had left a dime near her name.  It sort of caught the sun and sparked.

I would love to say that I felt Sally's presence.  That she was standing beside me, smiling, wanting to ask about my daughter and son, because she loved them more than anything.  However, I can't say that.  She wasn't there anymore, if she had been there at all in the first place.  She was gone.

Yet, ever since my trip to the cemetery, she's been with me, swimming around in my head, like some great white whale.  Like Bigfoot in the treeline, just out of sight.  It's almost as though she wants to tell me something.  Maybe that's why I saw her this afternoon.  Or maybe it's just my tired mind, grasping at some optical illusion.  I'm not sure.

All I can say is that I miss her.  Swearing like George Carlin.  Smiling her huge smile.

Saint Marty is thankful tonight that he had such a wonderful sister who is still teaching him how to live a good life.


Wednesday, June 14, 2017

June 14: Only His Ideas Were Good, Saints, Abandoned

Billy's fiancee had finished her Three Musketeers Candy Bar.  Now she was eating a Milky Way.

"Forget books," said Rosewater, throwing that particular book under his bed.  "The hell with 'em."

"That sounded like an interesting one," said Valencia.

"Jesus--if Kilgore Trout could only write!" Rosewater exclaimed.  He had a point:  Kilgore Trout's unpopularity was deserved.  His prose was frightful.  Only his ideas were good.

Only his ideas were good.  I can sympathize with Kilgore Trout.  I have great ideas all the time for things to write.  The problem is in the execution.  If my writing journals ever see the light of day, I will be incredibly embarrassed.  They are full of crap.  Starts and stops.  Fits and detours.  Ninety-five percent of what I scribble is absolute vomit.

The problem, it seems, for Kilgore Trout is that he publishes the vomit.  My problem is that I work on projects for so long--essays, poems, short stories--that it becomes difficult for me to decipher the good from the bad.  Everything looks like crap.

For example, I have been working on a project about Catholic saints off-and-on for many years.  It's an idea that simply won't leave me, so I will see it through to completion.  However, everything that I've written reads like Kilgore Trout--good idea, bad execution.  That frustrates me.  That's why I take long breaks from the project.

That is the life of a writer.  Laboring away in isolation on a piece of writing that might turn out to be absolute garbage.  Or it might turn out to be a Slaughterhouse Five.  Eventually, for me, it's a matter of simply letting go.  I think to myself, "I can't do this anymore," and I call it done.  Leonardo da Vinci once wrote, "Art is never finished, only abandoned."  I really believe that.

I am home with my wife for one more day.  I plan to clean the house and work on my saint book some more.  I'm not quite ready to abandon it yet.

Saint Marty is thankful for saints and writing today.


Tuesday, March 3, 2015

March 2: Poet of the Week, Rita Dove, "Saints"

DISCLAIMER:  This post was supposed to be published last night.

Rita Dove was the youngest person, and first African American, to be named United States Poet Laureate.  She has won the Pulitzer Prize and has received over 25 honorary doctorates.  In 2011, President Obama awarded her the National Medal of Arts.  And now her crowning achievement:

Rita Dove is Saint Marty's Poet of the Week.

Saints

by:  Rita Dove

She used to pull them
from herself and count:
Have mercy, have mercy--
black-eyed peas flicked into a pot.

Why go out into the sunshine
and blustery azaleas, why leave
this overcrowded bed?
She's fat now, she stinks in warm weather.
She'll pin on a hat, groan into a pew,
spend the hour watching stained glass
swirl through Michael's boat
like holy water.

Between her knees, each had been
a neat hunger,
each one a freedom.
So many now, perishing under the rafters!
They are like the tin replicas of eyes and limbs
hung up in small churches,
meticulous
cages, medallions
swinging in the dazed air.

I'm a sucker for a poet who writes about saints

Thursday, March 7, 2013

March 7: Old Luce, Largest Vocabulary, Bouncing Blessings

Old Luce.  He was strictly a pain in the ass, but he certainly had a good vocabulary.  He had the largest vocabulary of any boy at Whooton when I was there.  They gave him a test.

Old Luce is one of Holden's former classmates.  He's pretentious and haughty.  In the short time he appears in Catcher, he demonstrates little patience for Holden's bullshit.  He's too wrapped up with his Eastern philosophy and artist girlfriend who's twenty-some years his senior.  Holden pretty much has Old Luce pegged:  he's a pain in the ass with a really good command of the English language.

I don't know why I started this post with Old Luce, and I don't know why Holden is so interested in him.  Luce is as much a phony as any of the other phonies at the beginning of the novel.   In fact, Luce could lead the entire parade of spoiled rich kids in Holden's life.  The only thing that sets Luce apart is that he's a little older than the rest of Holden's acquaintances, already attending Columbia University.

Yet, Holden reaches out to Luce for some reason.  Maybe it's desperation.  Maybe loneliness.  Whatever the reason, Luce fails to help Holden at all.  Luce is not one of the blessings in Holden's life.

On this Thursday, I don't have a particular blessing to focus upon.  To tell the truth, I don't even feel particularly blessed at all today.  I feel more like Holden, abandoned by Luce in a bar, ready to drink heavily to forget about my problems.

However, I will try to list a few things for which I'm grateful.  As I said, I'm not focused, so I'm going to be bouncing around my blessings.  Perhaps a little grace will stick to me.

I'm grateful for Red Lobster, which I had for lunch, thanks to a gift certificate from a friend.

I'm grateful for this blog, which allows me to whine and complain freely and without judgement.

I'm grateful for my daughter's love of dance.  Watching her move across a dance floor gives me great joy.

I'm grateful for my son's laugh.  He lifts my spirits on the darkest days.

I'm grateful for my wife's patience and understanding when I say every night, "I don't want to work tomorrow.  I'm tired."

I'm grateful for my work.  Hey, it pays the bills.  Almost.

I'm grateful for poetry.

I'm grateful for music.

I'm grateful for Robert Frost a Life, the book I'm reading right now.  Compared to Frost's, my life isn't so bad.

I'm grateful for my niece who gave me the idea to think about all the blessings in my life every morning.

I'm grateful for the cold cup of water at my elbow when I'm thirsty.

I'm grateful for the Take 5 candy bar in the refrigerator.  Just knowing it's there, and I can eat it, makes my happy.

I'm grateful for friends who read my blog posts.

I'm grateful for strangers who read my blog posts.

I'm grateful that tomorrow is Friday.

I'm grateful for pizza on Saturday night.

I guess I have a lot of grace in my life.  I just don't stop very often to take inventory.  Yet, I'm surrounded by blessings.  I just need an attitude of gratitude.

When I picked my daughter daughter up from religion class this past Monday, she said to me, "It would be really hard to be a martyr."  She'd been discussing saints in class.

Saint Marty thought for a moment and then said, "It could also be a blessing."

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

January 15: Screwballs, Saint Arnold Janssen, Missionary

We got to the Edmont Hotel, and I checked in.  I'd put on my red hunting cap when I was in the cab, just for the hell of it, but I took it off before I checked in.  I didn't want to look like a screwball or something.  Which is really ironic.  I didn't know then that the goddam hotel was full of perverts and morons.  Screwballs all over the place.

The most ironic thing about this passage is that Holden is probably the most messed up person at the Edmont.  He's depressed, angry, manipulative, and lost.  Basically, he's a teenager.  At this point in the book, he's left Pencey, the school he's just been expelled from, and he's on his way to New York with a vague plan of taking a vacation before he returns home to face his parents.

I think adults react differently to Holden's story than young people do.  I remember really identifying with him as a kid, wanting to be his friend.  When I read the book now, as the father of a twelve-year-old girl and four-year-old boy, I want him to get his crap together.  If Holden were my son, I'd send him to military school or something.  Granted, he's troubled, but he needs to use some goddam common sense.

Of course, that's not a very generous attitude.  I should feel some compassion for him.  He's grieving the death of his little brother.  He has parents who don't know what to do with him, and most of the other adults in his life simply want to lecture him about responsibility.  I know that's what I'd do if he were my son.  I've already had a few of those "responsibility" talks with my daughter.  Holden is floundering, and I want to slap him upside the head.  I guess I'd make a terrible therapist.  Or saint.

Today is the feast day of Arnold Janssen, who was born in Goch, Germany, in 1837.  At around the age of 24, Arnold became a priest and taught science for twelve years.  That's right, a priest/saint who taught science.  Believe it or not, science and religion are not mutually exclusive.  In fact, for a lot of scientists and priests, the two go hand-in-hand.  But Father Arnold wasn't just a scientist.  He was also a magazine editor.  He edited a journal about the missionary work of the Church.  This guy was a true Renaissance man.  Eventually, he started the Society of the Divine Word, and its members became missionaries in Toga, New Guinea, North America, Japan, and Paraguay.

Arnold Janssen puts all of us to shame.  His simple life of science and faith changed the world, spreading charity and love across the globe.  Saints have this annoying habit of making me feel inadequate.  Saint Arnold Janssen in no exception.  I sit at my computer and complain about having to wake up before dawn.  I bitch about how tired I am.  I watch the clock and dream about having a few minutes to read a Stephen King novel.  I sound like the most shallow person alive.  I'm one of Holden's phony bastards.  When he was my age, Arnold Janssen was organizing societies to educate children in Third World countries.  Compared to him, I'm Homer Simpson.

I know I shouldn't compare myself to a saint.  It's a good way to batter my self esteem.  I simply need to be the best person I can be, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day.

Saint Marty is trying to be a good person today, even if he would rather be at home, in his pajamas, watching reruns of M*A*S*H.  And slapping the hell out of Holden.

This guy isn't good for my self esteem