Showing posts with label my best friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label my best friends. Show all posts

Saturday, May 20, 2023

May 20: "At the River Clarion," Pieces of Divinity, Stunned Stupid

Mary Oliver goes down to the river . . . 

At the River Clarion

by:  Mary Oliver

1.
I don't know who God is exactly.
But I'll tell you this.
I was sitting in the river named Clarion, on a 
     water splashed stone
and all afternoon I listened to the voices
     of the river talking.
Whenever the water struck the stone it had
     something to say,
and the water itself, and even the mosses trailing
     under the water.
And slowly, very slowly, it became clear to me
     what they were saying.
Said the river:  I am part of holiness.
And I too, said the stone.  And I too, whispered
     the moss beneath the water.

I'd been to the river before, a few times.
Don't blame the river that nothing happened quickly.
You don't hear such voices in an hour or a day.
You don't hear them at all if selfhood has stuffed your ears.
And it's difficult to hear anything anyway, through
     all the traffic, and ambition.

2.
If God exists he isn't just butter and good luck.
He's also the tick that killed my wonderful dog Luke.
Said the river:  imagine everything you can imagine, then
     keep on going.

Imagine how the lily (who may also be a part of God)
     would sing to you if it could sing, if
          you would pause to hear it.
And how are you so certain anyway that it doesn't sing?

If God exists he isn't just churches and mathematics.
He's the forest, He's the desert.
He's the ice caps, that are dying.
He's the ghetto and the Museum of Fine Arts.

He's van Gogh and Allen Ginsberg and Robert
     Motherwell.
He's the many desperate hands, cleaning and preparing
     their weapons.
He's every one of us, potentially.
The leaf of grass, the genius, the politician,
     the poet.
And if this is true, isn't it something very important?

Yes, it could be that I am a tiny piece of God, and
     each of you too, or at least
          of his intention and his hope.
Which is a delight beyond measure.
I don't know how you get to suspect such an idea.
     I only know that the river kept singing.
It wasn't a persuasion, it was all the river's own
     constant joy
which was better by far than a lecture, which was
     comfortable, exciting, unforgettable.

3.
Of course for each of us, there is the daily life.
Let us live it, gesture by gesture.
When we cut the ripe melon, should we not give it thanks?
And should we not thank the knife also?
We do not live in a simple world.

4.
There was someone I loved who grew old and ill.
One by one I watched the fires go out.
There was nothing I could do

except to remember
that we receive
then we give back.

5.
My dog Luke lies in a grave in the forest,
     she is given back.
But the river Clarion still flows
     from wherever it comes from
          to where it has been told to go.
I pray for the desperate earth.
I pray for the desperate world.
I do the little each person can do, it isn't much.
Sometimes the river murmurs, sometimes it raves.

6.
Along its shores were, may I say, very intense
     cardinal flowers.
And trees, and birds that have wings to uphold them,
     for heaven's sakes--
the lucky ones:  they have such deep natures,
     they are so happily obedient.
While I sit here in a house filled with books,
     ideas, doubts, hesitations.

7.
And still, pressed deep into my mind, the river
     keeps coming, touching me, passing by on its
           long journey, its pale, infallible voice
               singing.


This poem celebrates the tiny pieces of divinity that exist in everything--the rivers, birds, rocks, mosses, people.  God is everywhere, Oliver says, from the greatest works of art to a fatal tick embedded in the flesh of a beloved pet.  The Lord gives, and the Lord takes back.

I spent most of today with one of my best friends, working on a creative project.  I don't often have the opportunity to immerse myself that fully in friendship and art.  It was a gift, like sitting on a wet stone in the middle of the Clarion, listening to the water, rock, and moss sing.

Then, in the evening, we played games with the same friend and his family.  There was pizza, chicken wings, chips, salsa, bean dip, and chocolate.  And there was laughter.  A lot of laughter.  By the time the games were done and food put away, my cup was overflowing.

It was one of those days where I felt abundantly blessed.  (Don't get me wrong:  I'm always abundantly blessed.  But, like every other person on this planet, I'm not always aware of the riot of goodness that surrounds me.  It's so easy to be distracted by the aches and pains of daily life.)

I'm not a wise person in a lot of ways.  I need to be clubbed over the head often with reminders of all the little pieces of God singing around me--from the flowers growing in a neighbor's yard to the gummi bears my friend brought to game night.  Even Oliver admits to getting distracted--by books, ideas, doubts, and hesitations.  It isn't until I'm stunned stupid by blessings that I remember to give thanks for all the holiness in my life.  The stones and branches, sparrows and dandelions, friends and laughter, poetry and music.

Saint Marty listened today and heard all the voices of God.



Sunday, August 5, 2018

August 5: Book Club, Classic Saint Marty, Sharon Olds

Welcome to Sunday evening.

Book Club ended about an hour-and-a-half ago.  My friend, author John Smolens, was the guest of honor.  We ate, talked, asked questions, drank, and talked some more.  It was a lovely gathering.  My Book Club has been going strong for close to 15 years or so.  That's a pretty good track record.  Members have come and gone.  Meeting nights have changed.  We've added a Secret Santa gift exchange at Christmas.  (Okay, I forced that one on everyone, but nobody's complaining.)  I can honestly say that some of my best friends are in this group of people.

They've seen me through a lot of ups and downs in my life.  They were there when my wife and I separated.  They were there when we reunited.  They've seen both of my kids grow up.  And, when my brother and sister and father died, they were at the funerals.  That's the kind of friends I have. 

I've been very lucky to have this group of people in my life for so long.  They really have lifted me up, over and over and over.

And a Classic Saint Marty from about three years ago . . .

August 4, 2015:  Felix the Cat, "Jaws," Sharon Olds, "Wonder"

Later, because it was Christmas, Ives had somehow felt compelled to leave the nice watch he'd bought his son in the room, instead of returning it to the store.  He put it in his top drawer, as if his boy would come in anytime now to claim it.  That drawer was stuffed with school paraphernalia, prayer cards, baseball cards, playing cards, a Felix the Cat comic that Ives had illustrated himself, years before.  And pamphlets, a dozen of them, from different seminaries, clipped together, one of them with the sun's rays extending outward in the shape of a cross, the title:  In God's Service.  On a shelf Robert had a edition of the World Book Encyclopedia, which he had bought when he was ten with his own money; an Oxford Book of Saints, his marker left on the page describing Saint Francis of Assisi.  A row of books on sciences, a picture book of pretty flowers from Celeste.  A paperback novel called Invasion of the Star Creatures and a book on ancient Egypt.  He saw that in a row on the inside cover his son had drawn three symbols:  that of an ankh, chrismon, and crucifix, one leading to the next.  In a bag he found a copy of Fanny Hill, which had one of his son's friend's names in the margin, certain pages marked off.  It made him laugh.  Then on Robert's desk, where each night he had worked by lamplight on his schoolwork--what "good" youngsters do--he found an edition of A Christmas Carol, which Annie had given him, opened to one of the middle chapters.

Ives is surrounded by reminders of his son.  The Christmas following Robert's death, Ives goes into Robert's room and catalogs his son's belongings--his books and cards, scribbled notes.  It's almost as if Robert is going to walk through the door, sit down, pick up his copy of A Christmas Carol, and start reading where he left off.  Robert's story is incomplete, and Ives wants him to return to finish it.

Greetings from Munising, Michigan, on the shores of Lake Superior.  Actually, I'm in a hotel in Wetmore, which is a couple of miles beyond Munising.  It has been a fairly pleasant day, discounting a disappointing lunch and messed-up hotel reservations.  My kids spent several hours at a swimming pool with a water slide, and I got to watch America's Got Talent

As I sit on my bed typing this post, I'm wearing one of my favorite tee shirts, with the classic logo for the movie Jaws on it.  For years, I'd wanted this shirt.  Every time I hit Old Navy, I'd scour the vintage tee shirt racks looking for it without success.  Then, one year, I found it--in my six-year-old son's size.  We bought it for him, and he wore it all the time.

One day, my son and my sister (the one who is currently a patient at the University of Michigan hospital) handed me a package.  Inside was a vintage Jaws tee.  My sister ordered it from Amazon.  Every time I wear it, I think of her.  I think of how my son loves my sister, and vice versa.  They probably planned my tee shirt surprise for over a week.

Like Ives, I feel like my sister's story isn't complete.  She's supposed to come to my daughter's high school graduation, show up for my son's school Christmas programs.  This morning, my son saw me wearing my Jaws shirt, and he said, "Me and Aunt Sally bought that for you."

"Yes," I said.  "You sure did."

My son touched the shirt and said, "I miss Aunt Sally."

I nodded and said, "Me, too, buddy."

I'm still hoping that my sister, by some miracle, beats this cancer.  Still hoping that she's around to see my son graduate from high school and my daughter go to college.

Saint Marty isn't on vacation from hope.

Wonder

by:  Sharon Olds

When she calls to tell me my father is dying
today or tomorrow, I walk down the hall
and feel that my mouth has fallen open
and my eyes are staring.  The planet of his head
swam above my crib, I did not understand it.
He lay, behind bevelled-glass doors, beside
the cut crystal decanter, its future
shards in upright bound sheaves.
He sat by his pool, not meeting our eyes,
his irises made of some boiled-down, viscous
satiny matter, undiscovered.
When he sickened, he began to turn to us,
when he sank down, he shined.  I lowered my
mouth to the glistening tureen of his face
and he titled himself toward me, a dazzling
meteor dropping down into the crib,
and now he is going to die.  I walk down the
hall face to face with it
as if it were a great heat.
I feel like one of the shepherd children
when the star came down onto the roof.
But I am used to it, I stand in familiar
astonishment.  If I had dared to imagine
trading I might have wished to trade
places with anyone raised on love,
but how would anyone raised on love
bear this death?


Saturday, October 7, 2017

October 7: Nurses' Strike, Philip Levine, "What Work Is"

Over the last few days, the registered nurses at a local hospital went on a two-day strike. 

Through five months of negotiations, the administration only spoke to the nurses through lawyers.  The hospital is owned by a very large, national healthcare system that seems to have little concern for its reputation within the community.  This healthcare system spent over a million dollars bringing in travel nurses, housing and feeding those nurses, and changing all the security locks within the hospital. 

Many of my best friends are registered nurses who simply want to take care of their neighbors and friends safely.  Instead, they are being forced to work 16, 17, and 18-hour shifts because of inadequate staffing.  They are good people.  Tired people.  People who care about caring.

This morning, those people tried to return to work at the end of the two-day strike.  They found the entrances locked to them. 

Saint Marty supports the nurses of the hospital because those nurses care for his family and friends.

What Work Is

by:  Philip Levine

We stand in the rain in a long line
waiting at Ford Highland Park. For work.
You know what work is—if you’re
old enough to read this you know what
work is, although you may not do it.
Forget you. This is about waiting,
shifting from one foot to another.
Feeling the light rain falling like mist
into your hair, blurring your vision
until you think you see your own brother
ahead of you, maybe ten places.
You rub your glasses with your fingers,
and of course it’s someone else’s brother,
narrower across the shoulders than
yours but with the same sad slouch, the grin
that does not hide the stubbornness,
the sad refusal to give in to
rain, to the hours of wasted waiting,
to the knowledge that somewhere ahead
a man is waiting who will say, “No,
we’re not hiring today,” for any
reason he wants. You love your brother,
now suddenly you can hardly stand
the love flooding you for your brother,
who’s not beside you or behind or
ahead because he’s home trying to   
sleep off a miserable night shift
at Cadillac so he can get up
before noon to study his German.
Works eight hours a night so he can sing
Wagner, the opera you hate most,
the worst music ever invented.
How long has it been since you told him
you loved him, held his wide shoulders,
opened your eyes wide and said those words,
and maybe kissed his cheek? You’ve never
done something so simple, so obvious,
not because you’re too young or too dumb,
not because you’re jealous or even mean
or incapable of crying in
the presence of another man, no,   
just because you don’t know what work is.