October 16: When Life Gives You Lemons...

We've all heard that old saying about lemons and what you should do with them.

Well, I've got a new take one for my disciples:

When life gives you lemons, sometimes it really sucks.

Yes, I'm not about to add sugar and water and make lemonade with my lemons.  Nope.  Today has sucked on many levels, so even if I made lemonade, it would probably taste like crap anyway.  Thus, my lemons are going to stay lemons.  It's sort of like manure.  Some people see a pile of manure and think, "Fertilizer!  I'll till up the backyard, plant some vegetables or flowers, add some of that manure, and make a beautiful garden."  When I see a pile of manure, I think, "Cow shit."

You'll excuse me if my wisdom for today is a little on the negative side.  I just got back from a vacation, and I am buried in paperwork.  I'm not seeing too much lemonade or gardens this afternoon.

Saint Marty sees lemons and cow shit.

Sometimes a lemon is just a lemon

March 13: Kale Chips, Lawnmower Tongue, Sun

The Upper Peninsula is in the middle of a March heat wave.  For the fourth or fifth day in a row, temperatures have been pushing close to sixty degrees.  Today is no different.  The snow banks are quickly vanishing, and water is running down the streets.  Pretty soon, the piles of dog crap will start to emerge in people's backyards.

Run like the wind from these!

The reason I'm focusing on the weather and warmth is that I tried a snack today that reminds me of summer.  One of my coworkers made kale chips last night.  If you don't know what kale chips are, you're lucky.  Basically, my coworker baked kale, adding sea salt or something to it.  It's supposed to be a "healthy" alternative to Pringles or Cheetos or Fritos.  Well, I decided to be adventurous this afternoon.  Yup, I ate a kale chip.

It was green.  It was light.  It was salty.  It tasted like shit.

I don't mean literal shit.  I mean it tasted like I'd stuffed my mouth with grass clippings.  I walked around for the next hour or so with lawnmower tongue.  I have just now erased the lingering sting from my taste buds.  It took a lot of water and some candy corn.

The point of my post is that, just because it seems like spring outside, you don't have to cram manure in your mouth to fertilize your stomach.

That's just how Saint Marty sees it.