Showing posts with label Stigma. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stigma. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 18, 2022

May 18: With This Current, Stigma, Really Shitty School Year

Santiago hopes for a good day . . . 

"Tomorrow is going to be a good day with this current," he said.

"Where are you going?" the boy asked.

"Far out to come in when the wind shifts. I want to be out before it is light."

"I'll try to get him to work far out," the boy said. "Then if you hook something truly big we can come to your aid."

Santiago never gives up hope, but he also knows that hope sometimes takes hard work.

Let me say something about hope and the post I wrote yesterday.

There are details that I left out of the post about my son's situation yesterday.  Those details (which have to do with mental illness and its effects on my family) were too personal to share, but they play an important part in the whole story.  Society, the world over, does not get mental illness.  That stigma is huge, and the children bullying my son are cruel symptoms of that stigma.

My frustration and hurt with the school's handling of this situation are huge.  But please know that I have the utmost respect for educators.  I am an educator myself.  Going into a classroom every day is hard, hard work.  Dealing with developing youths is hard, hard work.  I've made mistakes during my teaching career.  I know that.  I own that.  I've made assumptions about struggling students in the past, and I've been proven wrong.  It's a humbling experience when that happens.  But I've admitted my mistakes, and I've tried (as best I could) to correct them.

My son is part of a school district that has faced incredible challenges in the last month or so.  Teachers and administrators are stretched to their limits.  They're tired.  Uber on guard.  Uber sensitive.  And they're human.  Humans make mistakes.

What happened to my son was a mistake.  I spent all day on the phone.  I spoke with the school superintendent.  Two principals.  I asked difficult questions, and I didn't receive any real, substantive answers.  I am not a parent making excuses for a spoiled child.  I am the parent of a child who is being taunted, teased, and bullied about something he literally has no control over.  Take my word on that.

I will speak to the superintendent again tomorrow.  If I have to, I will speak to the principals again tomorrow.  Because there are parts of this puzzle that simply make no sense to me as a rational, thinking person.  And I want the school administrators to help them make sense or admit that they made a mistake.  I have little hope for either of those outcomes at this point.

In the mean time, I have a son who spent a good portion of today in bed.  He missed his school concert this evening.  Will miss his eighth grade class trip on Friday.  At the end of a really shitty school year, he has been handed more shit.

Saint Marty feels like he's been fighting a war all day.  In the meantime, the trilliums are blooming in his backyard.  Fragile and beautiful.



Saturday, August 25, 2018

August 25: Does the Whale's Magnitude Diminish?--Will He Perish?, Critical Thinking, Keeping Busy

# Does the Whale's Magnitude Diminish? - Will He Perish?

Inasmuch, then, as this Leviathan comes floundering down upon us from the head-waters of the Eternities, it may be fitly inquired, whether, in the long course of his generations, he has not degenerated from the original bulk of his sires.

But upon investigation we find, that not only are the whales of the present day superior in magnitude to those whose fossil remains are found in the Tertiary system (embracing a distinct geological period prior to man), but of the whales found in that Tertiary system, those belonging to its latter formations exceed in size those of its earlier ones.

Of all the pre-adamite whale yet exhumed, by far the largest is the Alabama one mentioned in the last chapter, and that was less than seventy feet in length in the skeleton. Whereas, we have already seen, that the tape-measure gives seventy-two feet for the skeleton of a large sized modern whale. And I have heard, on whalemen's authority, that Sperm Whales have been captured near a hundred feet long at the time of capture.

But may it not be, that while the whales of the present hour are an advance in magnitude upon those of all previous geological periods; may it not be, that since Adam's time they have degenerated?

Assuredly, we must conclude so, if we are to credit the accounts of such gentlemen as Pliny, and the ancient naturalists generally. For Pliny tells us of Whales that embraced acres of living bulk, and Aldrovandus of others which measured eight hundred feet in length- Rope Walks and Thames Tunnels of Whales! And even in the days of Banks and Solander, Cooke's naturalists, we find a Danish member of the Academy of Sciences setting down certain Iceland Whales (reydan-siskur, or Wrinkled Bellies) at one hundred and twenty yards; that is, three hundred and sixty feet. And Lacepede, the French naturalist, in his elaborate history of whales, in the very beginning of his work (page 3), sets down the Right Whale at one hundred metres, three hundred and twenty-eight feet. And this work was published so late as A.D. 1825.

But will any whaleman believe these stories? No. The whale of to-day is as big as his ancestors in Pliny's time. And if ever I go where Pliny is, I, a whaleman (more than he was), will make bold to tell him so. Because I cannot understand how it is, that while the Egyptian mummies that were buried thousands of years before even Pliny was born, do not measure so much in their coffins as a modern Kentuckian in his socks; and while the cattle and other animals sculptured on the oldest Egyptian and Nineveh tablets, by the relative proportions in which they are drawn, just as plainly prove that the high-bred, stall-fed, prize cattle of Smithfield, not only equal, but far exceed in magnitude the fattest of Pharaoh's fat kine; in the face of all this, I will not admit that of all animals the whale alone should have degenerated.

But still another inquiry remains; one often agitated by the more recondite Nantucketers. Whether owing to the almost omniscient look-outs at the mast-heads of the whaleships, now penetrating even through Behring's straits, and into the remotest secret drawers and lockers of the world; and the thousand harpoons and lances darted along all continental coasts; the moot point is, whether Leviathan can long endure so wide a chase, and so remorseless a havoc; whether he must not at last be exterminated from the waters, and the last whale, like the last man, smoke his last pipe, and then himself evaporate in the final puff.

Comparing the humped herds of whales with the humped herds of buffalo, which, not forty years ago, overspread by tens of thousands the prairies of Illinois and Missouri, and shook their iron manes and scowled with their thunder-clotted brows upon the sites of populous river-capitals, where now the polite broker sells you land at a dollar an inch; in such a comparison an irresistible argument would seem furnished, to show that the hunted whale cannot now escape speedy extinction.

But you must look at this matter in every light. Though so short a period ago- not a good lifetime- the census of the buffalo in Illinois exceeded the census of men now in London, and though at the present day not one horn or hoof of them remains in all that region; and though the cause of this wondrous extermination was the spear of man; yet the far different nature of the whale-hunt peremptorily forbids so inglorious an end to the Leviathan. Forty men in one ship hunting the Sperm Whales for forty-eight months think they have done extremely well, and thank God, if at last they carry home the oil of forty fish. Whereas, in the days of the old Canadian and Indian hunters and trappers of the West, when the far west (in whose sunset suns still rise) was a wilderness and a virgin, the same number of moccasined men, for the same number of months, mounted on horse instead of sailing in ships, would have slain not forty, but forty thousand and more buffaloes; a fact that, if need were, could be statistically stated.

Nor, considered aright, does it seem any argument in favor of the gradual extinction of the Sperm Whale, for example, that in former years (the latter part of the last century, say) these Leviathans, in small pods, were encountered much oftener than at present, and, in consequence, the voyages were not so prolonged, and were also much more remunerative. Because, as has been elsewhere noticed, those whales, influenced by some views to safety, now swim the seas in immense caravans, so that to a large degree the scattered solitaries, yokes, and pods, and schools of other days are now aggregated into vast but widely separated, unfrequent armies. That is all. And equally fallacious seems the conceit, that because the so-called whale-bone whales no longer haunt many grounds in former years abounding with them, hence that species also is declining. For they are only being driven from promontory to cape; and if one coast is no longer enlivened with their jets, then, be sure, some other and remoter strand has been very recently startled by the unfamiliar spectacle.

Furthermore: concerning these last mentioned Leviathans, they have two firm fortresses, which, in all human probability, will for ever remain impregnable. And as upon the invasion of their valleys, the frosty Swiss have retreated to their mountains; so, hunted from the savannas and glades of the middle seas, the whale-bone whales can at last resort to their Polar citadels, and diving under the ultimate glassy barriers and walls there, come up among icy fields and floes! and in a charmed circle of everlasting December, bid defiance to all pursuit from man.

But as perhaps fifty of these whale-bone whales are harpooned for one cachalot, some philosophers of the forecastle have concluded that this positive havoc has already very seriously diminished their battalions. But though for some time past a number of these whales, not less than 13,000, have been annually slain on the nor'west coast by the Americans alone; yet there are considerations which render even this circumstance of little or no account as an opposing argument in this matter.

Natural as it is to be somewhat incredulous concerning the populousness of the more enormous creatures of the globe, yet what shall we say to Harto, the historian of Goa, when he tells us that at one hunting the King of Siam took 4,000 elephants; that in those regions elephants are numerous as droves of cattle in the temperate climes. And there seems no reason to doubt that if these elephants, which have now been hunted for thousands of years, by Semiramis, by Porus, by Hannibal, and by all the successive monarchs of the East- if they still survive there in great numbers, much more may the great whale outlast all hunting, since he has a pasture to expatiate in, which is precisely twice as large as all Asia, both Americas, Europe and Africa, New Holland, and all the Isles of the sea combined.

Moreover: we are to consider, that from the presumed great longevity of whales, their probably attaining the age of a century and more, therefore at any one period of time, several distinct adult generations must be contemporary. And what this is, we may soon gain some idea of, by imagining all the grave-yards, cemeteries, and family vaults of creation yielding up the live bodies of all the men, women, and children who were alive seventy-five years ago; and adding this countless host to the present human population of the globe.

Wherefore, for all these things, we account the whale immortal in his species, however perishable in his individuality. He swam the seas before the continents broke water; he once swam over the site of the Tuileries, and Windsor Castle, and the Kremlin. In Noah's flood he despised Noah's Ark; and if ever the world is to be again flooded, like the Netherlands, to kill off its rats, then the eternal whale will still survive, and rearing upon the topmost crest of the equatorial flood, spout his frothed defiance to the skies.

Of course, Melville's argument in this chapter for the continuation of whaling is flawed.  In the 21st century, we postmodern peoples know that many species (including the buffalo of North America) were hunted to the brink of extinction.  All of Melville's justifications ring false through this lens.  Humankind HAS done irreparable harm to the animal kingdom over the centuries, including many of the creatures mentioned in the above paragraphs.  This is not fake news.

In some ways, I think Melville would have fit in well in Donald Trump's cabinet, perhaps as the administrator of the Environmental Protection Agency.  Keep in mind, though, he is working with 19th-century information.  When Moby-Dick was written, it wasn't the Information Age.  Google didn't exist.  So, I can almost give Melville a pass on this chapter.

As an English professor at a university, I spend a great deal of my time teaching young people how to think critically.  That's my job.  I'm trying to show the next generation how NOT to depend on flawed information, that everything published on the Internet ISN'T necessarily true.  That Fox News might be slightly biased in their presentation of the facts.  If I can do that, I can sleep better at night.

As I discussed yesterday in my blog post, I've been struggling recently with depression.  It has muddied my ability to reason effectively.  Situations that would require little effort on my part to handle normally now take a great deal of energy to think through.  I know this condition is temporary.  That my mind will clear, and that I will be back to my normal self eventually.  However, that doesn't make these moments any easier for me.

It's frightening not being able to think and speak clearly.  It makes me feel like a little less of a person.  Don't worry, I'm not going to start getting up at 3 a.m. to send out early morning Tweet rants as I sit on the toilet.  I'm not insane.  Just depressed.  Big difference.  I have gotten slightly better.  This post proves it.  On Wednesday, the thought of trying to write a cogent sentence was impossible for me.

I have a good friend who has suffered from depression in the past.  She told me that keeping busy helped her during the blue periods.  Since I published that post yesterday, I've received a lot of kind messages (public and private).  It helps to know that people really care about me.  Mental illness still carries so much stigma in modern society.  I think it is still viewed as a kind of failing of character.  People don't want to talk about it.  My wife has bipolar disorder.  I've seen this reaction over and over.

That's why I wrote that post last night.  I'm not going to let mental illness control me.  Instead, I dragged mental illness out into broad daylight and pointed my finger at it.  Named it.  That felt empowering.  I'm glad that I had enough brain power to do it.

Today, I'm going to buy a car for my daughter.  Clean my house.  Read a good book.  Maybe finish up my syllabi for teaching next week.  That's my plan.  Keeping busy, as my good friend advised.  I'm also going to be kind to myself.

Saint Marty is thankful this morning for the love of family and friends.


Wednesday, August 2, 2017

August 2: Nothing's Gonna Happen, Mental Illness, Stigma

Lazzaro said that he could have anybody in the world killed for a thousand dollars plus traveling expenses.  He had a list in his head, he said.

Derby asked him who all was on the list, and Lazzaro said, "Just make fucking sure you don't get on it.  Just don't cross me, that's all."  There was a silence, and then he added, "And don't cross my friends."

"You have friends?" Derby wanted to know.

"In the war?" said Lazzaro.  "Yeah--I had a friend in the war.  He's dead."  So it goes.

"That's too bad."

Lazzaro's eyes were twinkling again.  "Yeah.  He was my buddy on the boxcar.  His name was Roland Weary.  He died in my arms."  Now he pointed to Billy with his one mobile hand.  "He died on account of this silly cocksucker here.  So I promised him I'd have this silly cocksucker shot after the war."

Lazzaro erased with his hand anything Billy Pilgrim might be about to say.  "Just forget about it, kid," he said.  "Enjoy life while you can.  Nothing's gonna happen for maybe five, ten, fifteen, twenty years.  But lemme give you a piece of advice:  Whenever the doorbell rings, have somebody else answer the door"

Lazzaro is crazy.  That much is clear.  His whole existence orbits around anger and judgement and retaliation.  His advice to Billy is intended to ruin Billy's life, make him spend years and years worrying about some unknown gunman appearing at his front door.  That's all part of Lazzaro's plan--to make his victims suffer as much as possible.

I am not one to minimize the severity of mental illness.  Mental illness has touched my life in significant ways.  Still does.  Depression.  Bipolar.  Mania.  Obsessive compulsiveness.  Addictions.  They are all part of my daily existence.  I'm not complaining about this or trying to make you feel sorry for me.  Mental illness is simply a part of the fabric of my day-to-day.  I accept that.

What is difficult for me to accept is the stigma that still surrounds mental illness.  Rather than seek effective treatments and medications, the government cuts funding for mental health and addiction services.  When hospitals look for ways to save money in their budgets, they usually start with mental illness treatment.  I have seen it happen, up close and personal.

People with mental illness are expendable members of society.  Rather than help the mentally ill before they harm themselves or others, it's easier to wait for disaster to strike, throw them into the criminal justice system.  Throw the crazy people in jail.  Don't give them a chance to become functioning members of society.

Yes, I'm on a soapbox right now.  I'm on vacation, and I'm on a soapbox.  I'm in a privileged position.  My family members who have mental illness are able to seek treatment.  They have the help they need.  I don't spend every waking minute of my life worrying about them.  That's unusual.  I'm lucky.  Most people aren't that lucky.

Today, when I take my son to the water park, I am going to give thanks that he is happy and functioning.  It may not always be like that.  I know this.

But, for today, as his son goes shooting down a slide on an inner tube, Saint Marty knows he will come out the other end, safe and laughing.