October 26: Resistance is Useless, Playing God, Haunted Escape Room

"Resistance is useless!" shouted the Vogon guard back at him.  It was the first phrase he'd learned when he joined the Vogon Guard Corps.

This is a good reminder.  Resistance against a lot of things that happen in life IS useless, because, usually, the worst--serious illnesses, car accidents, natural disasters, the Trump presidency--seem wildly out of our hands.  Of course, we can do things to avoid these circumstance.  Eat healthy and exercise.  Drive safely.  Live in Iceland (statistically, the safest country in the world).  Impeach.

However, there is always the chance of bad medical diagnoses, even if you eat kale for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.  You can drive ten miles below the speed limit, but that doesn't stop somebody else from stumbling out of a bar, getting behind the wheel, and causing major damage/heartbreak.  Blizzards and hurricanes and tornadoes and earthquakes and volcanic eruptions happen, all over the world.  Middle-aged, white male Republicans storm into closed-door sessions in Congress, trying to disrupt the legal process of investigating possible unconstitutional actions by the President of the United States.  Shit just happens.  Resistance is useless.

Or is it?

I guess it depends on how you define "resistance."  Fighting events over which you have no power is like running head-first into a brick wall to get into another room.  You will cause lasting damage to yourself, and never break through to the other side.  Ultimately, it changes nothing for the good.  However, if your resistance entails being kind to others, taking care of yourself, participating in civic affairs, protecting the environment, and, basically, being a Jimmy Carter instead of a Donald Trump (a saying I wish I'd coined), then you are on the right track.  That's good resistance that can make a difference.

I feel as though I've been running head-first into brick walls recently.  Trying to force my square peg to fit into the round hole God has given me.  It hasn't worked.  All I've accomplished is giving myself both nightmares and insomnia.  So today, I'm going to try to let that go.  I can't force my day to go well, no matter how many lists I make or how many times I say to people, "Well, if you do what I tell you to do . . ."  I have been spending far too much time playing God, and I've learned something very valuable.  Are you ready for it?  It's a pretty earth-shattering revelation.  Here it comes:

I am not God.

I may think that I have all the answers.  That my way is the best way.  That the whole world would be better if I was calling the shots.  But I don't.  It isn't.  And it wouldn't be.

It's all about surrendering for me today.  I give up any control, which I never had in the first place.  And, in celebration of my powerlessness, I am going to a haunted escape room tonight with some friends and my daughter.  It will be, for me, an exercise in surrender.  I will be trapped somewhere that frightens me a great deal, and I will have to depend on other people to help me get out, because I will probably be curled up in a fetal position, crying beyond rational thought.

At the moment, I am panicking.  I don't deal well with not feeling the illusion of control.  I have told my friends that I may have a few drinks before I show up.  I don't endorse alcohol as a coping mechanism, but, sometimes, it can take the edge off complete and total hysterical submission.

If you happen to hear screaming and wild lamentation around 9 p.m. EST, don't worry.  It isn't the tormented spirit of a jilted bride who committed suicide. 

It's simply Saint Marty realizing that resistance is useless.

March 16: Resistance Is Useless, Bay Cliff Health Camp, Fulfillment

Another passage about Arthur Dent's encroaching panic . . .

"Arthur, you're getting hysterical.  Shut up!"  Ford tried desperately to think, but was interrupted by the guard shouting again.

"Resistance is useless!"

"And you shut up as well!" snapped Ford.

"Resistance is useless!"

"Oh, give it a rest," said Ford.  He tweisted his head till he was looking straight up into his captor's face.  A thought struck him.

"Do you really enjoy this sort of thing?" he asked suddenly.

The Vogon stopped dead and a look of immense stupidity seeped slowly over his face.

"Enjoy?" he boomed.  "What do you mean?"

"What i mean," said Ford, "is does it give you a full, satisfying life?  Stomping around, shouting, pushing people out of spaceships . . ."

The Vogon stared up at the low steel ceiling and his eyebrows almost rolled over each other.  His mouth slacked.  Finally he said, "Well, the hours are good . . ."

"They'd have to be," agreed Ford.  

"Ford, what are you doing?" he asked in an amazed whisper.

"Oh, just trying to take an interest in the world around me, okay?" he said.  "So the hours are pretty good then?" he resumed.

The Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the murky depths.

"Yeah," he said, "but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy.  Except . . ." he thought again, which required looking at the ceiling, "except some of the shouting I quite like."  He filled his lungs and bellowed, "Resistance is . . ."

"Sure, yes," interrupted Ford hurriedly, "you're good at that, I can tell.  But if it's mostly lousy," he said, slowly giving the words time to reach their mark, "then why do you do it?  What is it?  The girls?  The leather?  The machismo?  Or do you just find that coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?"

Arthur looked backward and forward between them in bafflement.

Vogon discontentment in the workplace.  Even an alien with the intelligence of a horned toad can be unhappy with its life, I guess.  Unfulfilled.  Not everyone can be Oprah Winfrey, a billionaire who loves what she does, lives out her dreams every day.  In fact, I would say that, for most people, work is simply an end to a means.  Punching the time clock is just a way to buy food and clothes, pay the bills, maybe (if you're lucky) go on a nice vacation every once in a while.

I am not quite Vogon in my attitude toward my jobs.  I work with nice people who appreciate me, for the most part.  I get to help people make their lives better, through medicine and education.  And I get to write poems, give readings, perform on the radio, and organize charitable benefits.  I guess that's a pretty good gig.

For example, this evening, I have put together a little event to benefit Bay Cliff Health Camp, a place where children with physical and medical challenges can go in the summer to feel like every other kid in the world.  Swimming, playing games, laughing, singing.  It's a wonderful organization.  And these kids are in need of a new playground.

So, I've pulled together some of my writer and musician friends, and, in good old Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney fashion, we're putting on a show tonight at the Joy Center in Ishpeming.  It's going to be a wonderful time.  Music, poetry, and food.  And, best of all, I get to hand a bunch of cash to Bay Cliff at the end of the night.

That is one of the most fulfilling things I do with my life.  Helping other people out.  I do it with the patients I meet.  And I do it with my students.  Sure, I have money problems.  Struggle to pay my bills sometimes.  But then, there are moments like tonight:  where my friends and I can make kids with a lot of challenges a little bit happier.

Resistance is useless.  Saint Marty is giving in to hope.