January 10: Ford Prefect, Seven Dwarfs Mine Train, One of My Favorite Nights

Here we are again.  Arthur still lying in front of the bulldozer.  Mr. Prosser still having Genghis Khan visions of death and destruction.  But now we've been introduced to Arthur's friend, Ford Prefect, who is an alien from a planet near Betelgeuse . . .

Sometimes [Ford Prefect] would get seized with oddly distracted moods and stare into the sky as if hypnotized until someone asked him what he was doing.  Then he would start guiltily for a moment, relax and grin.  "Oh, just looking for flying saucers," he would joke and everyone would laugh and ask him what sort of flying saucers he was looking for.

"Green ones!" he would reply with a wicked grin, laugh wildly for a moment and then suddenly lunge for the nearest bar and buy an enormous round of drinks.

Evenings like this usually ended badly.  Ford would get out of his skull on whisky, huddle into a corner with some girl and explain to her in slurred phrases that honestly the color of flying saucers didn't matter that much really.

Thereafter, staggering semi-paralytic down the night streets he would often ask passing policemen if they knew the way to Betelgeuse.  The policemen would usually say something like, "Don't you think it's about time you went home, sir?"

"I'm trying to baby, I'm trying to," is what Ford invariably replied on these occasions.

One of the challenges in life is dealing with difficult people, like Ford Prefect.  Or semi-difficult people.  Or people who seem to seek out ways of making others feel terrible.  I've been doing that for most of my life.  I have a brother whose moods can change in a blink.  Currently, he hates me, or at least he did when I left for Orlando.  He probably still does.  This brother also has a PhD in grudges.  I'm alright with that.

I've learned that the only way to deal with Ford Prefects is to simply let them be Ford Prefects.  Let them work things out for themselves.  I can't make anyone into a  better version of themselves, no matter how hard I wish I could.  Ford Prefects need to live, screw up, and then figure out how to unscrew up their screw ups.

(In case you are completely confused by the beginning of this post, let me say that teenagers are Ford Prefects.  They are dealing with raging hormonal moods which they can't really control.  They aren't quite children any more, and they aren't quite adults.  They are aliens from a planet in the vicinity of Betelgeuse.)

So, a quick rundown of the last couple days:

Tuesday, we visited the Animal Kingdom here at Disney.  It was a lovely day, one of the warmest since we've been down here.  Yet, that particular theme park is full of lush greenness and shade.  We saw a Lion King extravaganza; watched a 3-D movie about bugs in the Tree of Life; traveled to Avatar land to ride on the back of a banshee; twice climbed Mount Everest on a roller coaster to find the Yeti; and time traveled on a roller coaster to hunt a dinosaur.  Interspersed among all that were encounters with parrots and crocodiles and silverback gorillas.  Then, in the evening, we went back to EPCOT for the magic hours (9 p.m. to 11 p.m.) for resort guests.  We rode on Test Track again, because my son wanted to, and we traveled under the ocean with Nemo.  A pretty cool, eventful day.

Yesterday, we returned to Universal Studios for some more butter beer and to partake in some of the non-Harry Potter attractions, which were mainly roller coasters.  However, the morning started out for me with a really low blood sugar, so I was feeling kinda wonky for the first part of the day.  Skipped a couple of the coasters.  We did the Jimmy Fallon Tonight Show ride.  My daughter, son, and sister rode The Mummy and Fast & Furious roller coasters.  We killed some aliens with Men in Black.  Helped E. T. save his planet.  Ate the Big Pink (a pink frosted doughnut the size of your head).  Then it was the Hogwarts Express to Hogsmeade for some butter beer and wand action.  From there, we wandered into Seuss Landing where we rode the (for lack of a better description) sky trolley.  My daughter and son went on the Incredible Hulk roller coaster.  Twice.  Yes, they are insane.  And then I went on a river rapids Popeye ride with my daughter and son, where I got drenched.  Literally, barrels of water were dumped on us.  Still dripping, we encountered King Kong to end the day at Universal.  (It was somewhere in that time that Ford Prefect decided to make an appearance, and things got a little intense between the teenagers in our party.  There were tears and stony silences.)

Yesterday evening, we made our way to the Magic Kingdom for some Splash Mountain and Space Mountain Action, minus Ford Prefect.  It was magic hours time there.  So, we hit the Haunted Mansion, Little Mermaid, and It's a Small World, as well.  We had dinner.  A chicken Parmesan sandwich for me.  Then, to cap off the night, we rode the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train roller coaster.  My wife joined us for that one.  She screamed the entire ride, throwing in some language that would have made Popeye blush.  Just as we were pulling into the station to disembark, she started saying, "I'm gonna throw up, I'm gonna throw up!!!"  She didn't.  However, it took her quite a while to recover.  She said her limbs went numb at the end of the ride. 

On the bus ride home, we were laughing and joking, although my wife may have turned into Ford Prefect a little.  She wasn't amused.  And, despite the challenges of the afternoon and evening, my daughter looked at me and said, "This is one of my favorite nights we've had."

And that is what it's all about.  Finding joy in the midst of struggle.  Not letting Ford Prefects steal that away from you. 

Saint Mary is hoping that, today, Ford Prefect has returned to Betelgeuse for the duration of this voyage.

January 6: Point D, Bypasses and Wait Times, Haunted Mansion

When last we left Arthur Dent, he was trying to stop a bulldozer from demolishing his house by laying down in front of it . . .

"I'm afraid you're going to have to accept it," said Mr. Prosser gripping his fur hat and rolling it round the top of his head,"this bypass has got to be built and it's going to be built!"

"First I've heard of it," said Arthur, "why's it going to be built?"

Mr. Prosser shook his finger at him for a bit, then stopped and put it away again.

"What do you mean why's it got to be built?" he said.  "It's a bypass.  You've got to build bypasses."

Bypasses are devices which allow some people to drive from point A to point B very fast whilst other people dash from point B to point A very fast.  People living at point C, being a point directly between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people of point B are so keen to get there, and what's so great about point B that so many people of point A are so keen to get there.  They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.

Mr. Porsser wanted to be at point D.  Point D wasn't anywhere in particular, it was just any convenient point a very long way from points A, B, and C.  He would have a nice little cottage at point D, with axes over the door, and spend a pleasant amount of time at point E, which would be the nearest pub to point D.  His wife of course wanted climbing roses, but he wanted axes.  He didn't know why--he just liked axes.  He flushed hotly under the derisive grings of the bulldozer drivers.

He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each.  Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him.

That's what I've been doing a lot of since we arrived in Orlando, moving from point A to point B to point D, bypassing point C because the line is too long, then going back to point C later in the day because the app says that there's only a 25-minute line.  On the way to point C, however, someone has to go to the restroom or buy a bottle of water or a hot dog, and suddenly the 25-minute wait balloons into a 120-minute wait in the space of ten minutes. 

You get what I mean.

So, it's a little chillier this morning than it has been.  Forty-nine degrees.  That's still about 40 degrees warmer than where I live, and I'm still wearing shorts today.  Because I can.  It is supposed to climb into the 70s today, so I'm going to soak up as much vitamin D as possible.  Plus, I'm in Florida.  As long as it's not snowing, it's beach clothing for me.

Yesterday was lovely.  We spent a good portion of the day eating and shopping and eating some more at Disney Springs, which is where all the restaurants and stores are located.  Had a few drinks, some eggnog gelato.  Walked through the Christmas Tree Trail--all kinds of trees theme-decorated to Disney movies and attractions.  Right up my alley.

Then, it was off to the Magic Kingdom, by way of bus and monorail.  We rode on the Carousel of Progress, PeopleMover, Pirates of the Caribbean, Buzz Lightyear, Enchanted Tiki Room, Hall of Presidents, and, finally, Haunted Mansion (my daughter's favorite).  In between moving to all those points, we shopped and ate a little, as well.  Basically, we closed the park down.

Despite all the bypassing we did, it was a lovely, chillaxing kind of day.  My son had barely any meltdowns, despite the fact that his ADHD medication wore off about three hours before the Magic Kingdom closed, and my daughter only cried once.  That's a win/win day in my books.

Saint Marty is ready to hit more bypasses today!