December 1: Revising Again, Poetry Again, "Web" Dip Again

Well, I spent the afternoon and a good portion of the evening revising my Christmas memory piece.  I submitted the original last night, and the editor wrote back and basically said, "I really like it, but it's 198 words.  Could you trim 50 words?"  My initial reaction was, "Are you kidding me?"  Then I took out my red pen and went to work.  I think it was poet Natalie Goldberg who called this process, "Being the samurai."  Or something like that.  It's a tough practice.

Now, the piece is 159 words long.  I've trimmed about as much fat as I can.  It's like the Angelina Jolie of Christmas memory pieces now.  I just e-mailed the revised version to the editor.  We'll see what he thinks.  If he doesn't take it now, I can live with that.  I've done my best.

My next writing project is my annual Christmas poem.  I've given it a little thought.  Very little.  I have a vague notion of my subject.  That's about it.  That notion is so vague it's practically non-existent.  I guess I have to get some Christmas music cranked and get to work.  Decking them similes.  Stringing them metaphors.  Hanging them shining images.  Fa-la-la-la-la.

This evening, I have a simple question for my Web dip:

Will the year 2015 be better than the year 2014 for me?

And the answer from the pig and the spider is:

"Did you have a good time at the Fair?" [Mrs. Arable] asked as she kissed her daughter.

Fern nodded.  "I had the best time I have ever had anywhere or any time in all of my whole life."

I will take that answer.  I am going to have the best time I have ever had anywhere or any time in all of my whole life in 2015.


Saint Marty hopes he doesn't have to ride the Ferris wheel with Henry Fussy.

You tell 'em, Steve-O

October 17: Topless Photos of Kate Middleton

My page views are down this month, so I've decided to write a post that mentions some of the things you won't see on this blog.

You won't see any topless photos of Kate Middleton, since I don't want to be sued by the royal family.  In addition, I have no pictures of Prince Harry's little harry either.

I will not talk about last night's presidential debate, since I already did that this morning.  As a recap, a vote for Mitt Romney is a vote for his bank account.

I will not be posting any racy pictures of Justin Bieber or Selena Gomez.  There will be no mentions of Robert Pattinson or his cheating girlfriend.

I will not be posting any nude pictures of myself.  It wouldn't be pretty and would probably damage my chances for next year's Nobel Prize in Literature, not to mention hurting my chances of running for the presidency in 2016.

There will be no naked pictures of Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, or Hulk Hogan.  No sex tapes, either.

Sorry, this post is about absolutely nothing that anybody wants to read or look at.  All this post is supposed to accomplish is gaining me some more page views.

Saint Marty ain't no dummy.

This is as racy as it's going to get