I'm a cradle Catholic.
I was baptized by a bishop, so my mother had high hopes of me entering the priesthood. Obviously, I was a disappointment to her in that respect. However, I have been playing the pipe organ every weekend since I was about 18 years old. If you do the math, that's well over two thousand Masses, and that number doesn't even include special holidays and times I played two and three times on a weekend. Throw in Methodist, Lutheran, Presbyterian, and Episcopalian churches, and the number of worship services I've played climbs well above five or six thousand.
That's a lot of time on an organ bench, meditating on my life and its failings.
Billy Collins examines his conscience . . .
Catholicism
by: Billy Collins
often walking up the path to the house
in the middle of the day like a little ghost
with a long tail and a blank expression on his face.
He likes to slip behind the woodpile,
but sometimes he gets so close to the window
where I am standing with a glass in my hand
that I start to review my sins, systematically
going from one commandment to the next.
What is it about him that causes me
to begin an examination of conscience,
calling to mind my failings in this time of reflection?
It could just be the twitching of the tail
and that white face, but his slow priestly pace
also makes a contribution, as do the tiny paws,
more like hands, really, with opposable thumbs
able to carry a nut or dig a hole in the earth
or lift a chalice above his head
or even deliver a document,
I am thinking as he nears the back door,
not merely a subpoena but an order
of excommunication with my name and a date
written in fine Italian ink
and signed with a flourish of the papal sash.
I'm pretty exhausted tonight. I just got back home from practicing at a couple different churches for this weekend. Most people would be surprised how similar Catholic and Lutheran worship services are. Often, I play many of the same hymns for Mass on Saturday evenings and Lutheran worship on Sunday mornings.
What I have learned during my tenure as a church musician is that there's not much difference between various Christian denominations. They all follow the same lectionary, sing the same songs, and read the same Bible (with a few extra books thrown in for Catholics).
Some people have asked me which denomination I like the best. That's a hard question for me to answer. I like Catholics for their pageantry and rituals. Methodists have the best music. And Lutherans, for the most part, are the most open-minded and accepting.
This week, a good poet friend of mine (who was raised Jewish) said that I'm a mystery to her, because I'm a Catholic, but love being irreverent. Admire saints, but would rather hang out with sinners. They're more fun.
We're all the same--broken and imperfect--trying to survive in a broken and imperfect world.
Bless Saint Marty, for he has and will continue to sin. Over and over and over. Perfection is kind of boring.
❤️
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