October 24: "Gold," Everything Precious, Appendicitis

It is days like today that really remind me of what's truly precious in my life--not just the silver lining, but the gold lining of my daily existence.

Too often, I get swept up in the worries and stresses of my jobs or teaching or writing.  (Yes, writing can be stressful, but it's a stress I embrace wholeheartedly as delight.)  When this happens, I often find myself spiraling, like blood down the shower drain at the Bates Motel.  Everything precious goes right out the window.

Billy Collins on things that are precious . . . 

Gold

by: Billy Collins

I don’t want to make too much of this,
but because the bedroom faces east
across a lake here in Florida,

when the sun first rises
and reflects off the water,
the whole room is suffused with the kind
of golden light that might travel
the length of a passageway in a megalithic tomb
precisely at dawn on the summer solstice.

Again, I don’t want to exaggerate,
but it reminds me of a brand of light
that could illuminate the walls
of a hidden chamber full of treasure,
pearls and gold coins overflowing the silver platters.

I feel like comparing it to the fire
that Aphrodite lit in the human eye
so as to make it possible for us to perceive
the other three elements,

but the last thing I want to do
is risk losing your confidence
by appearing to lay it on too thick.

Let’s just say that the morning light here
would bring to anyone’s mind
the rings of light that Dante
deploys in the final cantos of the Paradiso
to convey the presence of God
while bringing The Divine Comedy
to a stunning climax and leave it at that.

My wife woke up this morning with severe abdominal pain.  She spent quite a bit of time in the bathroom because she thought it was due to something she ate.  Then she went back to bed.

When I picked her up after work, she couldn't even straighten her body to walk normally.  So, she went to a local walk-in clinic that promptly sent her to the ER.  After waiting for four hours, she got into an exam room, and then they did some lab work and CT scan.  Two hours after that, the doctor told us she was suffering from an acute appendicitis.  After another two hours, she was loaded into an ambulance and transferred to another hospital's ER, where she is waiting to see the surgeon in the morning.  

I just got home.  It's after 2 a.m.  I'm beat.  In a few hours, I'll have to drive my son to school and head to the hospital.

Tonight has been full of stress and worry.  The kind of experience that really does remind me of what's precious in my life.  Sure, my jobs are important.  Ditto teaching.  Writing poetry keeps me sane.  But, when my life is distilled to its elements, here is what remains:  my wife and kids and family.  They are my gold.

Saint Marty is a rich man.