Monday, May 11, 2015

May 11: Pictures, Charlie Brown, "Ives" Dip

My wife's church is putting together a new church directory.  That means that all the families in the congregation have to sign up to get their pictures taken.  As incentive, each family receives a free 8X10 of the picture that will appear in the new directory.

This evening, I had the dubious pleasure of sitting down with my wife and kids for our portrait session.  My kids looked great.  My wife looked beautiful.  I looked like Charlie Brown on prednisone.  My head was round and huge, and, because of my blue shirt, I looked like a cross between the blueberry Violet Beauregarde and a Macy's Thanksgiving Day balloon.

I have struggled with my weight for most of my life.  I've gone up and down in sizes more times than Oprah.  I'm not happy with myself right now, and I have to do something about it.  Tomorrow, I'm going to go to the gym right after I'm done with work.  I'm also going to try to curb my chocolate consumption.  Drink more water.  Eat more fruit.  Exercise daily.

At least, that's my plan tonight.  I may have to print out a picture of Charlie Brown and put it on the refrigerator, with the caption, "You're a fat man, Charlie Brown."

Which brings me to my Ives dip question:

Is the new Peanuts movie going to be any good?  (Bet you thought I was going to ask a question about losing weight.)

And the answer from the universe of Ives is:

...Then he would end up in the kitchen where his plate would be heaped with food, even if he had already eaten.

Hmmmm.  I have no idea what the sentence has to do with Charlie Brown and Snoopy.

Saint Marty is going to go to the kitchen and get a big bowl of Cheetos ice cream cone piece of pizza cup of water.

A selfie...

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