Wednesday, April 13, 2011

April 13: 50 Posts, Psalm 36, Beef Balloons

Hello, my faithful followers.  This post marks the fiftieth new one since I switched over to Saint Marty.  We should have a celebration, cake, ice cream, confetti, a pinata.  At the very least, somebody should write a comment to me, congratulating me on lasting this long.  I'd settle for that.

Today also marks 36 new poems in 36 days.  I never really thought I'd be able to last this long.  I have approximately 11 more days and 11 more poems to go to fulfill my Lenten vow.  What looked like an impossibility on Ash Wednesday now seems within my reach.  I'm probably more excited by that fact than my fiftieth post.

Today's poem was inspired by a video clip of Billy Collins reading his poem "Litany."  I played it for my students yesterday, and they really got into it.  When I started thinking about today's psalm, I kept flashing back to Collins and "Litany."  I decided to follow his example.  I took one of the most famous psalms, Psalm 23, and reworked it a little bit.  It was a lot of fun and came relatively easily.

Easter is fast approaching.  I have choir practice and praise band practice tonight.  Palm Sunday this week.  I'm going to breathe a huge sigh on Easter Sunday.  I always over-commit myself this time of year.  I need to slow things down a little.

Saint Marty (with a nod to Billy Collins) now invites you to rethink Psalm 23.

Psalm 36:  23 Revisited

The Lord is my shepherd.  I lack for nothing.
Well, almost.  I could use a bigger
House.  Mine is a little crowded for four people.
Plus, the neighbors smoke pot in their garage.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
I try to stay out of pastures.  Not a big fan
Of livestock.  I once had a bull chase me
On a friend’s farm.  It scared the shit out of me.
He leads me beside quiet waters,
            He refreshes my soul.
Getting back to the house, I’d like a view
Of the big lake, be able to hear waves
Through my bedroom window in summer,
Watch snow roll across surf in January.
He guides me along the right paths
            For His name’s sake.
I always try to do the right thing, give
To Haiti earthquake relief, tsunami aid
To Japan.  I even skipped McDonald’s
For a week or so after Oprah’s exposé
On the cattle industry.  I’d look at a Big Mac,
See corn-fed, hormone-enhanced cows,
Balloons of beef on toothpick legs.
Even though I walk
            Through the valley of the shadow of death,
            I will fear no evil.
I’m a college adjunct English instructor.
Need I say more?
For You are with me;
Your rod and your staff,
            They comfort me.
This morning, when I woke at 1 a.m.,
My hand an ache of carpal tunnel,
I sat in the living room, said a prayer,
Felt Your presence on the couch
With me, like my grandmother’s afghan
Around my shoulders.  I felt better.
Then I took a Xanax, went back to bed.
You prepare a table before me
In the presence of my enemies.
Which reminds me, I haven’t had lunch.
I brought two pieces of cold pizza,
Left them in the fridge.  I hope none
Of my coworkers got into them.
I once brought leftover potpie.
The bastards ate the whole thing.  Really.
You anoint my head with oil;
            My cup overflows.
My mother taught me to say thanks,
Count my blessings the way I counted
Seashells I collected on the beach
As a kid.  So, thank You, Lord, for
My small house, cold pizza, Xanax,
Coworkers who don’t respect boundaries.
Surely Your goodness and love will follow me
            All the days of my life.
Each night, when I go home, feed,
Bathe my kids, their skin
Fresh and pink from hot water,
I know You are there, Lord, watching.  Always.
And I will dwell in the house of the Lord
            Forever.
As long as it has three bedrooms, two baths,
And a really, really, really big kitchen.


Cheeseburger anyone?


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